too bad you live with your parents still
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
