Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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