i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
