So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
