She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
