There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
