But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize