My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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