We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
