sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
