I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
