I would go down on you faster than GM stock
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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