Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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