I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Even my vagina gasped.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
