whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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