i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
