I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Do you have feelings for this penis?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
