laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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