I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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