i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i drank out of a bidet.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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