those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
