Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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