it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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