I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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