new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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