bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
