If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dick very happy bro
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
