when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
