I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
