return my video game
i may or may not be watching the land before time
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
