Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
