I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
