It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
