Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
