Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
