capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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