i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
