i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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