If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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