was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
birth control should be required to get into college
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
