how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
