he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
