Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
