I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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