She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
