Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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