Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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