Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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