you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
