i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
